Signs He is Cheating on You

We do not like to face it, cannot believe it could even be true, not MY man! But there is that little voice saying that he is not being faithful. What should you do if you feel a little suspicious that he is cheating on you? How can you find out without a confrontation?  Trust your gut instincts and look for some of these signs as they might just be helpful for you to try to figure out whether or not he is cheating on you.

15 signs your man is cheating on you

1. Smells of perfume that is not yours

He may come home and smell of perfume but the scent is unfamiliar to you. Could it be that it is the scent of someone else? Don’t get too carried away over analyzing this but if his behavior seems strange, you can always ask what cologne he put on that day. If something seems off, go with your gut. It is obvious that stench isn’t yours.

2. Lipstick on his clothes

Lipstick on his clothes or collar and the color is not yours. You see a tiniest smudge of bright red lipstick on his collar, and you’re a mauve girl. That is a big clue, and if there is no way to explain it away. If you ask him about it and he gets defensive, that is an even bigger clue. Sure, it could be his mom’s or his aunt’s but it certainly is not yours.

[Read also: Break-up Shake-up: Why Some People Can’t Handle Breakups]

3. Sudden interest for someone

He takes a sudden interest for someone at work, one of your friends, or a suddenly single woman. He may find someone very interesting and talk about that person a lot. Does it mean infidelity? Not necessarily, but if he’s finding an excuse to help out a damsel in distress, is sometimes overly helpful and it seems to you that he has a crush, he probably does. While crushes are common, talking or worrying about someone else all the time that isn’t you, isn’t normal. It’s even more ironic when he seems to talk about this new interesting person and then all of a sudden doesn’t want to talk about them at all.

4. Pays closer attention to his own appearance

Watch to make sure how much effort he takes into putting himself together for the day. If he pays closer attention to his own appearance, puts on a little extra cologne, is dressing better, or spends a little more time at the gym, he might be having an epiphany or he might be out impressing someone else. Maybe he’s dropping weight, and lots of it. Also note that showering before bed signifies guilt and a possible desire to wash away all evidence or detection of a lover’s scent.

[Read also: Forget Someone You Love In 10 Simple Steps]

5. Mood swings

Your man starts to deviate from his usual behaviors and is having mood swings. If he gets angry in an instant, or if he is overly attentive to you, these can be big red flags. While the extra attention might be nice, he might be trying to shed some of his guilt. There might not be a real reason for him to leave, so he has to make up some. Suddenly he has to do errands or go to a meeting he forgot about that maybe lasts a little too long into the evening.

6. Changes in his sexual behavior

Look for sudden changes in his sexual behavior or libido. Your sex life may start to become a little less exciting or if he does engage in intimacy, he may be trying to do things you have never tried before. Look for signs of him wanting to become intimate a lot more or a lot less.

7. Unusual markings on his body

Check to see if he has unusual markings on his body. He obviously did not get into a fight with a lion so there may be marks that are suggestive of sex, such as small hickeys, scratches, or the smell of it linger. It is not like having sex without a few markings is completely unheard of but if they are not from you, then they came from elsewhere.

[Read also: 9 Ways To Rebuild Trust In A Damaged Relationship or Marriage]

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept, what your mind already knows

8. Gets details mixed up

Check to see if he gets details mixed up. Sometimes he may get dates confused. Does he get mixed up about things you have done together, such as seeing a movie or going to a restaurant? Sounds great, but it was not you who he was with. You never saw the movie or ate at that particular restaurant. If not you, then who?

9. Buying you lots of gifts

Is he buying you gifts, and lots of them? Why, all of a sudden, is this happening? It can signify guilt. He feels guilty – for obvious reasons – and showering you with gifts makes him feel less guilty. While this is nice, it may just be a little too sudden.

10. Going out with ‘the guys’ more often

Your man might be saying he is going out with ‘the guys’ and it is happening a little more often. He also might just ‘accidentally’ leaving his cell phone in the car. He doesn’t want to be bothered during this time out, so it is much easier to be unavailable to you. There is nothing your man should feel like he has to hide from you. Doing this once can be accidental, but several times is a big red flag.

11. Becomes secretive with his technology

Has he suddenly becomes secretive with his technology? There is nothing wrong with wanting some privacy, but there is a point where it has gone too far. The computer might be on lockdown and his phone never leaves his side. He may go into another room to take a call or send a text. He may be quiet when talking on the phone and doesn’t want to tell you who it was or what the person wanted.

12. More withdrawals from the ATM than usual

If you have shared bank account or credit card, you may notice bills are skyrocketing or there may be more withdrawals from the ATM. There seems to be a lot of unexplainable charges, it could be because he is dining out and giving gifts to someone else. Keep an eye open for receipts in his desk or pockets.

[Read also: Sorry messages and apologies]

13. Spends a lot more time at the office or more overnight trips

There might be a time when he suddenly spends a lot more time at the office or is on more overnight stays or weekend business trips. Work is a great excuse, if you question it, he can easily say he is working on your future, and make you feel guilty for even questioning him about it.

14. Cheated before you were with him

He has cheated before you were with him. He may have even been cheating with you while with someone else. They say once a cheater, always a cheater, but that is not always true. However, if he got away with it once, do not be surprised if he does it again. Sure, guys can change but there may be too many other signs to ignore.

15. Distanced himself from you

He may just seem to have distanced himself from you. It can be hard but he may be disengaged and not as attentive as he once was with you. He may not ask about your day or wish you a good day or even kiss you like he used to. The feeling cannot be ignored.

Hi! I'm Maya Taylor. I'm glad to have the opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences through this blog. I'm a couples and relationships counselor since 2008. My friends call me "relationships therapist". I'm passionate with life and I believe that life is meaningless without love. Hope to have a great communication through!