Trust is the main ingredient of a relationship. We have all heard time and time again that a relationship without trust is doomed to fail.
A relationship can be broken at a moment’s notice with no warning. It can be broken over a long series of failed promises or lack of follow-through. The problem can also appear by something as serious as a lack of loyalty to something as small as a white lie.
This is a gray area, not black and white, and it can be difficult to rebuild trust in your relationship.
Reducing a relationship to ashes over broken trust does not have to be the measure you take. If you feel there is something worth salvaging and both parties are willing, lack of faith and broken trust can be restored and end up stronger than before.
All it takes is both people being prepared to make essential changes.
Rebuild trust in your relationship with your partner
If you are reading this, you are likely looking for a resolution. While the answer to your unique relationship issue is going to vary, there are many things we can exercise as a means of healing. All does not have to be lost.
Follow these nine steps to repair the wounds and rebuild trust in your relationship, so you can take back your life. Rid the stagnancy of the relationship so that you can both grow the way you were meant to.
1. Look Behind Your Anger
If you analyze what prevents you from opening back up with your partner, you will likely find some negative emotions. Anger is primary. It is a perfectly understandable response. There is nothing wrong with feeling anger when someone displaces your trust.
What can be wrong, however, is holding onto it. When you grip tightly to anger, it can cloud your vision and lead you to poor judgment. To reach the roots, you need to first separate yourself from the anger so you can better assess where it originated.
This enables you to work on the foundation rather than adding to your bitterness.
2. Extinguish Your Ego
Egos develop after pain as a means of survival or self-protection. If our heads overrule our hearts, in our matter of perception, we can protect our emotions. However, it can cause us to close ourselves.
When the ego is in control, you may want to resolve things with your partner, but you will not be able to do so. You will hold on to blame, pushing all responsibility to one side without taking the time to mend.
The ego prevents empathy. Until you can empathize with your partner, understanding from their point of view, you will not be able to release the pain.
3. Forgiving and Forgetting
When someone says to forgive and forget, we need to know just what this means. What this does not mean is to push it under the rug. It is to accept what they have done, admit that this person hurt you and realize that they are sorry.
Once you can accept the apology, you must forfeit your animosity, allowing this person to make it up to you. Destroy it, don’t let it destroy you. If you cling to what hurts, it will prevent you from moving forward.
There is no such thing as moving on from something you can’t let go of.
4. Promote Honesty on Both Ends
The most important thing we can do in any type of relationship is being honest with ourselves first.
Being honest with yourself can help you truly analyze who you are and what you want. You must do this to be willing to address your deepest needs, wants and expectations in your relationship. Encourage your partner to do the same.
Next is, to be honest with each other. What got you both here in the first place is dishonesty, which severely damaged your relationship. Honesty, at this point, is imperative. If avoided, the issues with repeat or worsen and nothing will be reestablished.
Like it or not, this all stemmed from something. Without truth, you won’t be able to define where.
5. Are You the Victim?
If you are the one who has been betrayed in the situation and are still willing to make it work, you must open back up.
Most importantly, you must be willing to hear some details you would probably like to avoid.
No one likes to talk about how they have been hurt. To understand, accept and move forward from this event, you must be willing to hear your partners point of view.
6. Are You the Betrayer?
You will need to face some hard truths here. You will have to remove your blinders to see how deeply your actions have affected the other person.
If you love this person and don’t want to lose them due to decisions you have made, you must be willing to take measures to avoid repeating this in the future. Become the person who deserves your partners’ trust.
If you are not remorseful and willing to change what you have done, hurting them again could be the consequence.
Make sure you are worthy of forgiveness.
7. It Must Be Mutual
This agreement must be genuine. Both parties must be on the same side, willing to put in the same amount of effort.
If one person is more eager than the other or if more weight falls on one side, this may not work. You need to both be ready to ride this long road together.
Like anything else in a relationship, equality is required.
8. Never Forget
There are four important things you should never forget in your effort to rebuild trust in your marriage or relationship.
– Communicate. Let the other person know you have been hurt and what caused it. Let them also have the chance to fix it.
– Reason. Often, there are two sides to everything. Evaluate and reason with your partner to determine how you got to where you are.
– Remember. Reminding yourself of the core, your love was built on is a great way to bring back that passion.
– Be open. You cannot get back to your heart when the doors are closed. You must be open to the changes needed for repair.
9. Seek a Listening Ear
Sometimes it is hard to see past what is right in front of us. Having a professional ear to listen to both sides of the equation is only going to benefit.
This lends a hand to be a mediator being two opposing forces. It allows you to hear what you may not be able to from your partner in a way you can understand.
Counseling coming from an unbiased, well-educated person can provide you with the insight you cannot find otherwise.