You may feel like you have given a person your all. You love them and they have your heart. However, they may not reciprocate those gestures or feelings and now you want to know how to get out of this toxic relationship. There are numerous signs of being in a relationship that is toxic and it is not healthy at all for you to be in a relationship that is one sided and unfulfilling.
When you have one life to live, you deserve to share your life with someone who appreciates you and makes you feel like a wonderful person.
While relationships have their ups and downs, if there are more bad aspects of a relationship than good ones when you take a look at the bigger picture, you will likely be unhappy in this relationship. If you are not unhappy already in this possibly toxic relationship, it will not be long until you will be. Before you start thinking of escaping, try your best to heal your relationship despite the fact that is toxic and harmful. (read also: Healing A Toxic Relationship)
For some reason, the other person does not appreciate you or love you in the way that you should be cared for and it is time for you to find a way out and cut your losses as hard as it may be. Here are twelve important things to do if you plan to get out of a toxic relationship.
1. Specify your role in this toxic relationship
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” You need to recognize your role in this toxic relationship. Are you a contributor or are you more of a victim? Remain autonomous in your relationship and do not be a doormat. Build boundaries and stick to them.
2. Stop being scared of change
Try to get past the idea of being scared of change. You may be comfortable in a relationship because you feel like you already know your partner and you feel scared that you might feel a void in your heart. It is hard at that point in time to cut ties with your partner who is the other half of this toxic relationship but it is so much better to be happy and alone than single and miserable.
Prior to being in a relationship with this person, you were probably comfortable being single and were afraid to break down walls and change. Do not let a lack of self-confidence from your partner breaking you down keep you from wanting your freedom back and out of this toxic relationship.
3. Find a pattern
If you find yourself going back and forth breaking up and getting back together, you might start to recognize a pattern. You might get reeled back in temporarily only to find out that nothing has changed and that the relationship is still painful and toxic.
You will have to be the one that finally says enough is enough and you are done being treated this way. It can keep you in a pit and you need to move on and better yourself.
4. This person is not the only one
Realize that you can live without this person. You may think that you cannot live without this person in your life. However, you really are tougher than you think you are. This person does not define who you are even though they may try to control you or destroy your self-confidence.
If someone is trying to tell you that you cannot ever do any better than them, it is like you are property or a possession to them. They have another thing coming. You are stronger than that and someone will appreciate you and will not use mind manipulation to make you think you are not worthy of someone better. Move on.
5. Stop feeling sorry
Do not feel sorry for yourself. You may find yourself full of anxiety at the thought of moving on or you find yourself thinking about them constantly, fully aware that the relationship is toxic but you are afraid of letting go. You are stronger than you think you are and you can move on and actually will feel much happier when you have cut ties completely.
6. Stick with your decision
Once you make a decision, stick with it. You may keep mentally giving your partner one more chance and you keep thinking that he or she will get better in this toxic relationship. Eventually, one more chance is one too many. You have to decide that you cannot back out on this again and continue to take your partner back because there have not been any positive changes in your relationship.
You have to accept that it is toxic and decide that enough is enough and that you are done. Pack your stuff up and do not look back.
7. Don’t stop loving yourself
You may believe that you are supposed to continue loving someone even through the rough times because, in theory, that is what true love is. However, sometimes it may not be you, that can deal with it and you should not have to either. Sometimes letting someone go is realizing that you love yourself more. You have to look out for number one and find your own happiness.
In a toxic relationship, you will not find it and you have to realize that. It is not uncommon to come to the realization that sometimes loving someone means letting go. You cannot accept each other’s flaws and you are not compatible and you have wasted enough time being miserable with the wrong person than being happy with the right one.
8. Realize that this could turn into resentment
If you are not in a happy relationship, you may start to find a blur in the lines of loving someone versus being emotionally addicted to a person. Your partner may be like a drug and you feel like it is almost a chase to get them to be who you want them to be or you hope they will be. If your partner is toxic in your relationship now, it will not get any better and someday you will look back and realize how much you invested in a standstill relationship.
9. Realize that you cannot deal with it
If your relationship is not equal, realize that you cannot deal with the draining toxicity of your relationship and you have to get out of it. It is not healthy and can affect every aspect of your life. You should be supportive and lift each other up and if that is not happening, you have to say good-bye.
10. Stop believing that things will change
Realize that you cannot change other people but you can stop letting another person be hurtful to you. That is when you have to change the nature of the relationship. Spend less time with the other person in your relationship. It eventually might just phase out when you find yourself becoming less emotionally attached.
11. Ask for your closest friends opinion
Get another opinion from people who know you the best. You may be feeling emotionally vulnerable. It is during this time that you should spend time with people who are supportive and do lift you up. You can use them as a lifeline to help see the relationship from a broader perspective.
12. Look out for yourself
If you have to ask yourself, if a relationship is healthy, it is pretty likely that it is toxic. You may not want to hurt the other person but there may have been times that they hurt you pretty badly. So, you have to look out for yourself instead. The more confident that you are, the more likely you are to be in a loving relationship.
People with low self-esteem usually are the ones in toxic relationships because you are the one who is teaching the other how to treat you. If you accept someone treating you badly, they will take advantage of that weakness. Learn to realize that you do deserve love and happiness.