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Who doesn’t want to feel loved? But is this love right for you? Many times you are in a relationship that is toxic to your overall well-being.
It is unfortunate, but sometimes we want so badly to see the good in someone and to be with that significant person in a romantic relationship.
It isn’t uncommon to try to make a relationship work, even though it can be extremely unhealthy. It has a huge impact on your mind, body, and spirit. Just because you want companionship and want to be loved, does not mean that it is good for you.
Below you can read out ten important signs of a toxic relationship and if you deal with them, you need to take action to heal it (read also: Healing A Toxic Relationship). You need to look at some of these red flags, because you might not even realize, you are in a toxic relationship, but you can find true love.
Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
1. Your partner is putting you down and acting condescending toward you
Sometimes a partner may be tearing you down and either calling you names or expressing feelings of discontent. It is not you that is not making them happy. It is themselves who are unhappy and it is very unlikely that anyone will be ‘good enough’ for them. You should feel loved and respected rather than feel like you are walking on egg shells.
Your partner often has this behavior because like many people who bully someone else around, they are feeling inadequate about themselves and the way that makes them feel better is to degrade someone else. You are not their punching bag. You do not have to put up with name calling or be meant to feel like that everything that you do is not good enough.
2. You do not feel appreciated in your relationship
You might often go out of your way to do something nice for your partner. Instead of being grateful, your partner might be hateful, demeaning, or overly critical. If your partner is making you feel bad about yourself, you have to realize that it is hurtful to your self-confidence and it is not at all healthy for you mentally or emotionally.
Sometimes in long term relationships, people start to take their partners for granted but even a simple “thank you” or a gesture of kindness can be appreciated. If your partner does not even acknowledge that you go out of your way to do something for them, this is a huge red flag.
3. Your partner is not supportive of your life choices or goals
Does your partner tell you that your ideas are dumb or stupid or that you will never meet your goals? This is just more tearing you down. They seem to not want to see you succeed so they try to plant a seed in your mind that you will fail. Do not stick around to let someone try to convince you that you cannot accomplish your goals.
For some reason, your partner is having a feeling of resentment or even jealousy. A loving partner is supportive of your decisions whether they agree with them or not. In a healthy relationship, your happiness is important to your significant other too.
4. Being around your partner brings you dread or stresses you out
If you find yourself not having any desire to spend time with your significant other or if you are supposed to do something together and all you feel is anxiety or not wanting to be with them because they nag or seem to always bring you down, it is likely that this is a huge red flag of a toxic relationship.
A partner you love should be someone who you want to spend time with. Though relationships commonly have stress in them from time to time, it shouldn’t constantly linger in your partnership.
5. Your partner may no longer be affectionate or intimate with you
If your significant other is not giving you what you need emotionally and physically, it is a big warning sign that the relationship is toxic. You deserve someone to provide you in a loving and affectionate way. It can be a kiss or even just a kind gesture. You might start to feel unappreciated or inadequate and this is a sign that you shouldn’t be with that person anymore.
6. Your partner is trying to change who you are
If your partner really cares about you, they love you for who you are instead of who they want you to be. No one should try to morph you into someone they want you to be. Instead they should be happy with your personality and appearance and love you unconditionally. You should never feel like you should have to be someone who you aren’t or feel guilty about who you are.
7. It seems like what you say is never respected
Communication in a relationship is a major portion of a healthy partnership. If you discuss things and it seems to go in one ear and out the other or your partner ridicules what you have to say or makes you feel stupid or inadequate for expressing your ideas, then you do not deserve this toxic treatment.
While sometimes there will be disagreements, there is no reason for you to ever feel like what your thoughts or beliefs may be are wrong. It is simply disrespectful and you should be able to be honest with your partner.
8. Your partner has other priorities that completely take precedence over you
If you were once a major part of your significant other’s life and now it seems like they want to hang out with their friends more or they break plans that they had with you to do something else, they are not respecting your time.
This is especially true when this becomes a habit. Your partner is showing you that you are not worthy of their time and that you are just an option rather than a choice. You should never feel inadequate.
9. You are the one who only gives but takes nothing in return
If you give and give and the person just takes and takes, you are missing out on real love. This person does not care about you at the same level you do them and it is not worth it to waste time and energy caring about someone so much and then they do not reciprocate it.
10. Hostility and anger
Hostility and anger in a relationship that is continuous is a major warning sign, that you are in a toxic relationship. This can eventually lead to verbal or even physical abuse. Anyone who threatens you or continuously makes you feel terrible about yourself, deliberately has a problem. It isn’t you.
It’s them and you need to consider getting out of that relationship, because it is toxic and can only get worse.