Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes work and requires two partners that are committed to maintaining a worthwhile, healthy relationship. Sometimes things go awry and changes need to be made in order to get a couple back on track.
If you are going through a rough patch, don’t fret as there are many ways and things to change to save your relationship.
1. Keep the Lines of Communication Open
When couples are mad at each other, the first thing they often do is shut down and refuse to speak to the other person. This can often lead to assumptions, resentment, and further disagreements.
No matter how angry you may be with your partner, keep an open mind if they come to you wanting to talk about the situation. If you feel you have something of value to say about the disagreement, be sure to express it instead of holding it in. One conversation could mean the difference between going your separate ways or patching things up.
2. Talk Face to Face
One mistake couples often make is communicating through texting, over the phone, or through social media. While these forms of communication may be more convenient, it’s often hard to decipher the other person’s mood or intent behind their words with these methods.
For instance, one person may text “fine”, which could mean either they really are accepting of the other person’s statement, or they could be saying it sarcastically. There are too many opportunities for things to be misconstrued, so it’s best to have difficult conversations in person.
3. Choose Your Words Carefully
All too often, things are said in anger that cannot be taken back. Even if you didn’t mean what you said in the heat of the moment, hurtful words can stick with your partner forever.
It’s important to take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions before speaking during a disagreement:
⇒ Is the statement true?
⇒ Is it beneficial to the discussion?
⇒ Will you regret saying it after things calm down?
4. Look Internally
One partner often looks to blame the other partner when things go wrong. It’s difficult to admit when you are at fault, but it’s also an important step towards personal growth and a chance to save your relationship.
The saying “it takes two to tango” is often true. Even if one partner holds more responsibility for the current problems in a relationship, it’s not usually all one-sided. Looking within yourself to see if there are things that you’ve done that have contributed to the current negative situation, and owning up to those things can go a long way in mending a romance.
5. Remember Why You Got Together in the First Place
The beginning of a relationship is when most of the sparks occur. It’s natural for the honeymoon phase to fizzle out over time, often being replaced with the mundane tasks of everyday life.
When looking to save your relationship, sometimes going back to where it all began can have a really positive impact. Reflecting on what first attracted you to your partner in the beginning, and determining whether those things still exist can help to reignite that passion. Some things to do to try to rekindle the flame include:
⇒ Going back to where you had your first date.
⇒ Writing letters to each other expressing what your first impressions were of each other.
⇒ Looking through mementos from the beginning of your relationship, such as photographs and cards.
6. Bring Back the Romance
A lack of intimacy is one of the top reasons a couple decides to separate. Sometimes, one partner will seek that intimacy elsewhere prior to ending the relationship, which can be an extremely difficult hurdle for the other partner to overcome.
In most relationships, though, the initial infatuation just dies out. There are many fun ways you and your partner can amp up the volume on your sex life.
⊗ Send flowers or balloons to your partner’s work.
⊗ Prepare a romantic, candlelit dinner at home.
⊗ Plan an intimate weekend getaway.
⊗ Experiment in the bedroom.
⊗ Express your love and admiration for each other throughout the day with frequent hugs and kisses and kind words of affirmation.
7. Let Go of the Past
Whether it’s hurtful things that have happened in your current relationship, or things that have happened in past relationships, letting go of those negative emotions is one of the first steps towards moving forward.
Those feelings are like an anchor holding us back. Learn what you can from those bad situations so that history doesn’t repeat itself, then forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for yourself, so that the past can no longer weigh you down and you can finally have the freedom to move forward and find happiness.
8. Seek Professional Help
Sometimes couples need outside assistance to help navigate the rough waters of their relationship. Whether you visit a therapist on your own, or together with your partner, their professional guidance can aid you in discovering new ways to save your relationship.
Oftentimes, one partner is interested in seeking the help of a therapist while the other is adamant about never seeing one. If this is the case in your relationship, go visit the therapist on your own first and start making positive changes. Once your partner witnesses the productive effects of therapy, they may be more apt to join you at your next session.
Disagreements are a natural occurrence in any relationship where love is involved. This is often because the depth of emotion is so deep that arguments are even more painful. Before throwing in the towel, consider making some positive changes.
Even if the relationship still ends, you will learn an immense amount about yourself in the process which can only lead to healthier relationships in the future.