Last Updated on
Long distance relationships can be difficult. Perhaps you are getting discouraged and wondering if you should give up on it. But you need to know that there is always a way to save your long distance relationship and avoid breakup.
Long distance relationships have always existed in one form or another. In past times they usually came about because the man had to go off to war or had to leave the home to find work.
These people made their relationship work when the only form of communication was letters that took weeks or months to reach their destination.
If they could make it work then, you can make it work now. You just need the proper information on how to save your long distance relationship.
1. Use Technology to Stay Connected
To keep a relationship alive you need to communicate on a daily basis. Texts, phone calls, and emails are all good ways to do this, but Skype or another video chat service is important. When you have a conversation through text or even on the phone you miss an important aspect of communication.
Being able to look someone in the eye and see their facial expression allows you to communicate more effectively. It also helps keep the attraction alive.
2. Love Letters
Love letters are romantic. It may seem pointless when there are so many easier ways to communicate, but that is part of the point. Taking the time to write an actual letter lets your significant other know they are important, and you will think harder about what you want to write as well. Make it romantic.
Tell them why you love them and how much you miss them. I guarantee you they will save your letter much longer than your texts or emails.
3. Visit Each Other
When you are trying to save your long distance relationship, seeing each other in person can make a huge difference. Actually being together and doing things helps strengthen your bond and reminds you why you fell in love in the first place. The more you visit each other, the easier it is to keep the relationship alive when you aren’t together.
Once a month is a good goal, although this will depend on your individual circumstances. However often you do visit, make it count. Set aside everything you can and spend time together. Make memories that will help sustain you when you aren’t together.
4. Have a Plan
This is crucial to saving your long distance relationship. No one wants to be in a long distance relationship forever, and if you don’t have a plan in place it can feel like you are doomed to spend eternity in long distance limbo.
The reality is one of these things will eventually happen:
– They move to where you are
– You move to where they are
– Both of you move somewhere new
– You break up
You need to discuss the circumstances and make some sort of plan for the long term or your relationship will eventually fail.
5. Be Honest
It is much easier to hide things in a long distance relationship. They only know what you choose to tell them because they aren’t there. Honesty is important in any relationship, but even more so in a long distance relationship.
When I say honesty I don’t just mean don’t lie. You need to be open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and goals for the future.
The fact that it is easier to be deceitful in a long distance relationship makes trust even more important. You can drive yourself crazy wondering what the other person is doing and who they are doing it with if you don’t trust them. This may cause you to be angry for no reason, or to text or call them constantly because you are insecure.
If you have issues trusting your significant other, ask yourself why. If it is because people have betrayed you in the past, you will have to learn to move on from it. If it is something your significant other has done to break your trust, you have two choices. Either forgive them and move on, or forget them and move on.
7. Do Things Together When You Aren’t Together
Yes you read that right. Find activities that you both enjoy that you can participate in at the same time while you talk on the phone or skype. This helps to create the bond that naturally forms when you do things as a couple.
You could look up at the stars, enjoy a glass of wine, or even cook yourself a nice meal. Your imagination is the limit here. The point is whatever you are doing, do it together. You should do this at least once a week, maybe more to help save your long distance relationship.
8. Have an Adult Conversation
We are adults, and most of us have certain biological needs. You need to talk openly and honestly about sex. Even if you have decided to wait, you still need to talk about it. Some of the big questions that need to be answered are:
→ Are we exclusive?
→ Will we engage in phone sex?
→ Is it permissible to do it ourselves?
Yes it can be embarrassing to talk about, but it will help you to make sure you and your partner are on the same page. It also helps you to set boundaries in your relationship. It is a big mistake to assume these things are understood without talking about them, especially when it comes to being exclusive.
9. Boundaries and Limits
Boundaries are another thing that has to be discussed. You need to be on the same page about what behavior is OK and what isn’t. Is it OK to go to the club on the weekend? Is it ok to dance with members of the opposite sex? Is it OK to hang out with friends of the opposite sex?
You don’t want to find out your sitting at home on a Friday night because you believe you shouldn’t go out without your partner, only to find out later they were out partying.
Follow these tips and you can save your long distance relationship. Like any relationship, they are hard work, but if it is the right relationship, they are worth every bit of it.