It is only normal that at one point in your relationship, your man is going to let you down, by doing something which will rock the boat. This is normal as human is to error. If you already managed to build trust in your relationship, you are more likely to forgive and move on.
However, if you generally do not trust him, you will not be able to erase what happened from your head. You will believe that there is a pattern involved and will therefore find it hard to forgive and forget.
Trust is essential as it enables one to view the other party positively. This prevents them from dwelling on negative things which might crop up when they become involved with this person.
This leads to a relationship which is more satisfying and secure for the two of you.
Importance of Building Trust in your Relationship
Building trust is the foundation for forming a powerful relationship. But, shortage of trust is among the most prevalent problems encountered in a lot of relationships.
Trust signifies that you have belief and self-assurance in your partner and that you anticipate sincerity, respect and devotion to be central in your relationship.
You expect your partner not to break promises and confidences also and stick by your side when things are difficult. Your trust needs to be earned at all times; you should not just trust easily.
When you initially encountered your partner, you might have confided in him and this may have helped you determine whether he or she was trustworthy and whether they deserved your heart.
As you became more acquainted with your partner, you might have disclosed information which was more sensitive about yourself. You expected that he or she would keep this valuable section of you in an area of protection and love. But, along the way your lovely partner might have done something or said something which provoked you, leading to the breakage of this trust.
All of us are complicated human beings who drag our previous worries, hurts and experiences as well anticipations in each new relationship we venture into. At times, our hurts extend to our relationship and we are not able to feel secure in the new relationship; despite whether our partner has really done something or not to cause this mistrust.
Guidelines to Build and Enhance Your Trust
- Allow him to make small decisions that concern you, for instance, selecting the venue for your meeting. When you do this, you will be more at ease in depending on him for bigger decisions.
- Allow him to see your imperfections. When you let him see the real you, eventually you will entrust him with more serious issues such as life objectives and family matters and trust him to offer his full support.
- Be open and speak your mind. Since you generally receive what you give, if you are transparent, your partner is going to become open with you as well.
- If your partner confides in you, maybe about a blunder he made at work, do not judge or criticize him; rather, be accommodating, sympathetic and offer answers. When you do this, he feels secure letting you into his confidence.
- Trust is a two-way traffic. If you are unreliable, your partner will also be unreliable. If you say you will call at a certain time, do so.
- When with other people, be yourself. If you portray a certain picture of yourself to other people and a different one to him, he will think you are hiding things from him.
- Be honest with him. Small lies build up as time goes and make your relationship’s foundation weak.
- Be punctual; this is not only considerate but indicates that you are dependable. If he is aware you are dependable, he will strive harder to be dependable also.
- Your partner might have faced betrayal before; from others or even you. In such a case, be very open. Tell him whom you are texting and avoid locking your phone.
- Take time to note down the meaning of trust to you. How do you become aware that you trust someone? These are vital elements to consider for enabling you to succeed more in creating trust with your partner.
- Trust means different things to different people. For some people, broken trust means being unfaithful. Unfaithfulness might mean for one person, meeting someone from the opposite sex for lunch. For another, this is innocent, so long as it does not lead to them going to bed together. Get to know how your partner views trust.
- Do not condemn your partner’s opinion about trust. When you have a discussion with your partner about the meaning of trust to the two of you, avoid criticizing how he views trust. He might have previous experiences that make it hard for him to trust. You might find it hard to trust men due to your past. Be truthful with each other and accepting, when talking about creating trust in your relationship.
- It does not take a major act to break trust. Small things which accumulate such as a lie or affair can make you feel unable to trust anyone anymore. At times broken trust involves many small lies which gradually pile up. You partner then leaves as he is unable to trust you any longer. Therefore, your relationship fails due to each of these lies.
- Your partner observes the way you relate to others and will trust you depending on this. Creating trust does not just involve the treatment you give him, the rate of honesty you have with him or not being unfaithful to him. Creating trust involves the person you are when with other people and the degree of honesty you have.
- What your partner discloses to you in your relationship should remain between you two. Divulging information about what you discussed breaks trust.
- It is vital to meet face to face and interact; do not depend on email, texts and phone calls for communication. Interacting in person is going to assist both of you to create a huger feeling of security since you will become more free with each other and vulnerable.
- Think of the interests your partner has. As you do more for him or her, he or she will be aware they can depend on you and that you care for their welfare. If your partner thinks they can depend on you, it will be simpler for them to share their more sensitive parts with you.
For instance, it is hard for a man to admit to being in problems financially; however, if you indicate that you understand and are willing to listen and maybe share ideas, rather than avoid you because of being broke, your man will be honest and disclose to you about his problems without being worried that you will be put off or judge him.
- When you err or let your partner down, practice saying sorry. A genuine apology needs to originate from the heart and it should be sincere. So that it can be very meaningful, become accountable for your deeds and assure your partner that you comprehend the way your action affected him or her.
- As you get to know your partner more, permit yourself to exchange information which is more private as well as your background. Strike a balance between the quantity of information the two of you share; this is because trust is not created if sharing just comes from one person.
- Spend time in each other’s company, doing things the two of you enjoy. As the two of you are different, it is normal to like diverse things. Being flexible when your partner introduces new things to you is going to forge a bond between the two of you and this will bring about trust.
- When your partner upsets you, practice forgiveness and when the two of you discuss the issue, let the hurt go. Obtaining a genuine apology creates trust in a vital manner.
- Spend some time alone from your partner to consult yourself and obtain some answers from your relatives and friends whom you trust.
When you take some time to talk to trusted friends or relatives, you might gain insight on telltale signs about your partner being untrustworthy, which you might have ignored before. On the other hand, you might find out that your partner deserves your trust.
- With time, trust can come and go as each of you goes through life’s challenges. Reassure one another that your security and love are still strong. This will make the basis of trust you have stronger, between you two.
Building and enhancing trust is the most vital ingredient for a healthy relationship. Many times, individuals who are hurt by the disloyal deeds of their partner, are simply struggling to take care of themselves. It does not signify that they no longer love their partners; it simply means their hearts might possibly require some time to mend. Going through a break up due to a partner’s infidelity might be extremely upsetting.
In case you are the one, that has damaged the trust in the relationship and have discovered you desire the relationship to go on, you have a lot of work to do.
But, with appropriate kind of advice such as provided above, this work will be significantly lessened.