Last Updated on
Looking for the secret to stay happily married forever? We all dream of finding that perfect someone to be with eternally. Once you have that dream you realize it is more work than you think. Love is life, and finding that perfect person is only half the hard work.
Once you have them, once you have said your vows and have moved on to a lifetime together that is when the real work kicks in. But, it is worth it.
Follow these 12 tips to stay in love and keep your marriage as happy as it was the first year!
Tips to Stay Happily Married Forever
1. Be the first to apologize
It doesn’t matter who started it or who is wrong and who is right. In the heat of the argument you probably said some things you shouldn’t have, things you didn’t mean. It takes two to fight and it takes two to make up.
Don’t sit around waiting for the apology you eel you are owed. Instead, be the one to say I’m sorry first. Once you have apologized you are more likely to get an apology in return and more likely to have your partner really hear your side.
2. Keep the romance alive – Don’t allow routine to take over
In the beginning there is no limit to your passion. Spontaneity is there, fun and frisky fantasy rules. Over time however, we get busy with work, kids, house chores and we are just too tired, too stressed and too busy to realize that we have forgotten intimacy as part of our life.
Date nights are great, but don’t forget how much you both enjoyed those wild moments out of no where. No it isn’t easy, especially once kids are part of the picture. But, it isn’t hard to carve out a moment here or there to recapture that spark and keep the flames burning bright.
3. Your family – Your number one priority
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes careers, kids, bills and stress. When you are juggling careers and kids and finances it becomes easy to lose sight of the people you are doing this all for. After all they are always there, this opportunity or this expense is fleeting.
But, if you lose sight of your loved ones, they might not always be there. Especially if those you love begin to feel like an afterthought and not the driving force behind your every decision. Make sure your family stays your priority and make sure they know they are still your priority. Remind them as often as possible.
4. Be liberal with your compliments
When you first started dating you told you spouse everything you loved about them. You never hesitated to let them know when they looked great, smelled great, or how smart, witty, and overall amazing they are.
After marriage we tend to forget to mention those things as often. But, on our worst days when the kids have worn us down, or our work is grinding us to the bone the one thing that can pick us up most is hearing those very things again from someone who really loves us. Never stop telling the person you love how great they are, how much they amaze you, and how you will never stop believing in them.
That you will always be in their corner because you know that they are great, and damn anyone who doesn’t or refuses to see it!
5. Little white lies are not terrible
Honesty is important. It is integral to any happy relationship. But sometimes it is better to tell a little white lie or say nothing at all. The key here is to walk the fine line. Your partner should never waver in their belief that when it matters you will be the one person who will tell them truth. But if they love a new outfit or hairdo and you aren’t sold on it, lie to them.
When it is something big, something that is going to get their heart broken or open them up t ridicule then be honest. But if they absolutely love their fuzzy pink socks and you think they are hideous let them have their socks and be blissfully ignorant that you think those things are hideous.
6. Don’t be afraid to have time apart to do your own thing
You love each other, and especially in the beginning you wanted to spend every minute together. That’s normal. As time goes by you need to learn to be okay with doing your own thing every so often. My husband loves all things Star Wars, I like it but I’m not a fan girl. It’s his thing,
I encourage it, buy him Star Wars memorable for the holidays, but on opening night he took a friend, because they would enjoy it more than I would. I love going to rummage sales and estate sales, him not so much. And that’s okay.
We trust each other and sometimes getting out of the house and leaving the kids and the housework with your spouse is a great way to keep the marriage stronger. Just make sure you both have that opportunity.
7. Get over your jealousy
In this day and age men work with women. Women work with men. We are more apt to have friends who are of the opposite sex and who aren’t. Your partner married you. And that counts for so much more than we can realize sometimes.
Trust your spouse to not break your heart, trust them to make the right choices, and trust them to be open with you about any situation that may arise. You married them, so the just have been worthy of all that trust. Also, make sure you are making the right choices and being open with your spouse.
8. Don’t do anything to break the trust
This isn’t just about cheating. This is about not hiding things, important things from your partner. Don’t lie and say you are working late but really you went to the bar with some coworkers. They fell in love with you, they placed their trust in you.
So do your partner the favor of being honest with them about the things that matter. And, if you aren’t sure it matters answer these two questions- Would it matter to you if your partner lied about the same situation, and if this lie comes out will it hurt your partner.
If the answer is yes, time to be honest rather than risk losing that trust.
Overtime we are just so tired. There is less and less time for heart to heart conversation. Yet when we start holding in our resentment or our anger or our pain it festers and slowly poisons a relationship. You need to communicate with one and other, to keep the lines open.
To make time to talk and really hear one and other. Take the time communicate often, and to listen when you are communicating. You are a team and a team only performs at its best when everyone on the team is on the same page.
10. Find what makes your partner happy
This isn’t about just the big grand jesters. It is about the small things. The quirky little things that your partner loves. Once you know those things make sure you give them to them as often as you can.
This shows you are listening and that you care about making them happy. That they and their happiness is priority for you.
11. Never blame your partner
Don’t blame your partner for the things that go wrong. And,don’t turn your arguments into a competition. IF they said something mean and you said something mean back. They are responsible for what they said. But, you are responsible for what you said.
You control your emotions, reactions, and behavior. In the end more often then not both parties own a piece of the blame. Focus on recognizing your part and taking responsibility for it and finally, apologizing for it.
12. Make your partner laugh,
and often be goofy, be silly, be quirky, be whatever it takes to make you partner laugh. Some of the best nights when you are married aren’t the nights out on the town or the fancy dinner. Instead, it is those random moments when it is just the two of you goofing off and giggling.
In short don’t lose sight of all the reasons you feel in love. Don’t ever stop reminding your partner that you still love them and why. When the world breaks them down remind them that you are here to pick them back up, that you believe in them.
That you are a team and together you are unstoppable.